I'm still reading that thread on that message board about how to write dialogue for black people realistically. The poor writer rewrote his passage and posted it again for critique and is still be labelled a racist simply because he stated his character goes to a mostly black high school. How is that racist? Sigh. Writers need to learn to not post thigns for critque to seek approval or praise. I'm really bad at this. Just yesterday I wrote what I thought was an awesome passage and had to fight the urge to post it for critique because I wanted to be showered with praise.
I didn't do it because I thought to myself 'I should be posting my work to get ideas on how to imrpove it not to be told the sun shines out of my ass.' You would think I would have learnt that lesson by now, huh? Everyime I post stuff for critique it always gets ripped to shreds and leaves me questioning if I have any talent at all. Despite being painful, in the end I always find it a good experience, because it forces me to question my writing and my decisions and think about how I can improve as a writer. It's nice to be told "Oh, you're so talented!" but it's also nice to get honest, naked opinions sometimes, even if they can be sometimes a wee bit harsh.
One thing I have learnt as a writer is that you cannot please everyone. There will always be someone who will be insulted by your work, who might find it sexist or racist or god know's what. They will call you names, give you poor reviews, generally make you feel like crap, but it's all part of being a writer. You have to accept that everyone has different opinions. If you try to please everyone you will just end up ripping out all of your hair and screaming like a crazy person.
Always listen to other opinions, no matter how harsh, and try to learn from them. Do not try to please everyone though because it will never happen. There are only three people a writer should aim to please: themself, their agent, and their publisher.