Tuesday, November 15, 2011

The Publish America children's author who is also a serial killer

Publish America is back in the news but not for what you might think. One of its children's authors, J.D Bauer, has been revealed to be a man, not a woman, and a serial killer responsible for killing his wife, mistress, his friend and his step daughter.

I originally found out this story on the day of my wedding on gossip news website Gawker and immediately did a search for this guy's book The Trinity of Superkidds: Book One: The Quest for Water.

And found out it had been published by Publish America! The plot thickens! Seriously this story is so fascinating it reads like the plot of a novel. The female author who is really a man who is really a serial killer who was published by one of the biggest scam publishing houses in America. And to make this whole thing even more weird the author donated all the profits of his book to the World Food Programme.

And...and...this is is a good bit...it's been pulled off Amazon.com! The question now is has Publish America actually PULLED a book from publication willingly? Usually they only stop selling books if they fail to make a profit (they offer the author a chance to pay their way out of their contract) or the author can buy their way out of their own contract if they are not happy with Publish America.

One would think Publish America would be absolutely gleeful that one of their authors is not a convicted serial killer. Now that it's in the news people will be searching for this guy and his book online and will be tempted to buy it. Which leads me to suspect if Amazon has taken the moral ground and taken the book down itself. Its possible that someone complained and even asked for it to be taken down.

What makes this story even more strange is that The Trinity of SuperKidds: Book One: The Quest for Water looks like it actually sold really well. The book's official facebook page has over 3,000 friends. The question is though how many of them are actual fans of the book and how many of them just like the page because the author has been revealed to be a convicted killer?

Another question that needs to be asked is how could a man kill four people, put it all behind him, and then move on with his life by bringing out a young adult fantasy book about water pollution? How could he do one evil act but be against something as evil as pollution? The world is a strange place.

Should characters be role models?

A couple of weeks ago (that's how long I've been meaning to blog about this) I was reading a discussion on a message board about the latest episode of Glee. One of the songs featured in the episode was "Candyman" by Christina Aguilera. One of the people on the message board thought this was a terribly inappropriate choice of a song for a group of teenagers to sing because of this line:

He's a one stop, gotcha hot, making all the panties drop

(see lyrics here)

And wondered what sort of teacher would ever choose a song like that for a high school choir to sing. All because of the line making all the pantie drop. How scandalous!

Cut to a week later and in another episode Curt and Blaine get fake IDs and sneak into a gay nightclub and almost do it in the back of a car. When I saw this episode I giggled and wondered what all of the conservative prudes who watch Glee would think of this little nugget. Gay sex! Fake IDs! Those kids are out of control! Whatever will those meddling kids get up to next?

Since when should fictional characters be held as role models for flesh and blood kiddies? Are we treating television shows like third parents now? Should fictional characters never fart, swear, break the law, lie or sing about panties dropping?

I'll never forget when JK Rowling revealed that Albus Dumbledore was gay. Some people came out and labelled him a pedophile (despite the fact that he is fictional) all because he was a kindly old man who worked with children. Suddenly his relationship with Harry was labelled as weird and creepy. Hysterical mothers claimed they would not let their children read the books again.

What sort of a world are we living in when even fictional characters cannot be gay? Can you imagine how boring the world would be if all fictional characters were these boring, straight laced, clones of each other? Some people seem to think that if their children see a same sex kiss on television, an accidental nipple flash, or if teenagers act all saucy on television that their children will be scarred for life and will be robbed of their innocence.

What rubbish!

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

My beautiful wedding

I got married last Saturday!! I spent the week anxiously watching the weather, which was predicting rain, but felt confident that "chance of a shower" meant that it would not rain at all or at worst in the morning or hopefully not even over the part of town we were getting married in. I woke up to blue skies after a rainy friday and felt joy streak through me. I was going to be able to get married in my beautiful park and have the photos there next to the glassy lake and old trees with their twisted roots!

As the morning grew late, the sky grew overcast, but I remained hopeful that it would not rain and would pass over. By the time the make up artist arrived I was in my parents bedroom anxiously calling the groom and asking him about the weather. "It's fine!" he said. "A little overcast! I think we're good to go." The plan had been to cancel the wedding in the park and move to the reception hall if it rained.

Cut to mid morning and I've checked the weather probably a million times and it has sprinkled a few times. Early afternoon hits and I'm in my dress and getting cuddles from the flower girl and bridesmaids and waiting for the photographer to arrive. He comes on time around 2pm and the heavens decide, an hour and a half before the wedding now too late to cancel, to open up and shit down upon us.

Not just a little rain. Oh no. It POURED. The rain came down in thick sheets that pelted the ground and ran in rivers down the street to the sewers. I stood in the front door of my parent's house in all my finerey and stared with a blank expression on my face out into the roaring rain and tried not to burst into tears. The limo driver, such a nice man, stood next to me telling me he had big black umbrellas and that rain was good luck! good luck! I hear some loud bangs and asked in a devastated whisper "Is that thunder?"
"No, no, love," he replied, his smile fixed on his face. "Just someone messing around with building supplies."

When we left the house to head to the ceremony (again too late to cancel) the entire bridal party huddled in the garage and stared out into the raging weather and all tried to pretend that while, YEAH, it was raining here...it would be ALL SUNSHINE AT THE PARK!! I'm the first to huddle out to the car in my heels with my maid of honor holding up my skirt and the driver holding two umbrellas above me. I get in the car and sit on the back seat and watch with eyes swimming with tears as the other bridesmaids tottered out on their heels, smiles in place, and clambered into the limo. I almost burst into tears at this point and send my bridesmaids into a panic who look at each other with looks of UH OH HOW THE FUCK DO WE CALM HER? written on all over their faces.

Lots of phone calls to the groomsmen. "It's fine!" they say "A little sprinkling!" little did we know that it had rained there too, at that exact moment, and they were all trying to calm us down (LOL)something I would laugh about later. The drive into the city consisted of me constantly twisting around in my seat and looking behind my shoulder to see if we were leaving the dreaded rain behind. I started to feel a little twinge of hope at first...until I noticed a grey shroud hovering over Perth.

We go on a scenic route around Perth to waste time. We drive past Kings Park and notice another wedding, no shelter, standing out in the rain with umbrellas raised and my dad nudges me in the shoulder and says with a smile "Hey! at least we have shelter! Look at those poor people!" I smile.

We get to the park and it has stopped raining. I pick up my skirts and get out of the rain, carefully stepping over the swollen gutter, and gingerly step foot on the rain soaked ground. There are puddles everywhere. I know that I am going to get my $2,600 draped in the mud and I do not care. At that point all I want to do is get to that gazebo as quick as possible and out of the rain!!

I thought I would be nervous walking up the aisle but I was not. It did not enter my head at all. I thought when I saw the gazebo with its chairs and red carpet I would shake and quiver. I did not. I walked down that aisle with a big smile and my head held high. I was so happy to see my husband after our terrible morning. When I stepped into that gazebo and looked at him and all the groomsmen and suddenly all my panic lifted and I was happy...so happy...happier than I have ever been in my life.

The wedding starts and all the guests start blowing bubbles and the lift up in the air and swirl around the gazebo, white and glittering, and I am gasping and looking from side to side, happiness blossoming inside me, at this magical moment.

So despite the rain our wedding turned out to be lovely. We managed to get a few photos done in the park before the rain started up again and we had to change locations. The rain had made the park all green and glittering. The lake was glassy and the ground reflective. The grass spikey and wet. It was lovely. In nature like I wanted.

What a wonderful day!