Sex scenes = porn?

I realized I came off as a bit of a hypocrite in my last post. I write romance stories about "soul mates" searching for their other half destined to "complete them" so they can be happy. I'm full of shit, aren't I? Complaining about people wanting characters to get married and have kids when I'm guilty doing that to my own characters? Basically, what I was trying to say in my last post was it's perfectly okay to write about characters that want a hubby and kids. There should be stories about characters who DON'T want those things too. Why is it in fiction (and real life) if someone stands up and says they DON'T want to get married or they DON'T want kids people inch backward, wrinkle their noses, and an awkward silence descends? It's considered weird and sad because they are doing something different. It's expected for people to want to get married and have children. If you don't want those things there has to be something wrong with you, amiright? *looks around room*

So then! Porn! I've had many an interesting debate about good old porn with my husband in the past week. He's been reading up about Fifty Shades of Grey online and read an article that basically called it (and all erotica and romance books) ladies porn.

Why is it okay, the article argued, for people to be able to buy Fifty Shades (and other laddddiess porno books) in bookstores that children frequent (SOMEONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN!)

Why is it okay for people to be able to read Fifty Shades of Grey in public but men have to place their bum and titty mags in paper bags and shuffle back to their cars casting nervous looks over their shoulders?

Why are men who like porn considered perverts and women who read erotica are not?

Are erotica books (and all other types of romance)porn because of the sex scenes in them? Does one sex scene = porn? How much sex does a book/film/etc need before it should be slapped into a paper bag and sold behind the counter in a shop?

And while we're on the subject it really irritates me that you can have topless men on the front cover of men's health magazines or girly mags like the Who but topless shots of women are considered too "pornographic" and slapped behind a paper bag? Why is it okay for children to be exposed to a man's naked chest but god forbid they see a pair of boobs?

It is weird that erotica books are generally more accepted by society than pornographic magazines and videos. You don't really hear about people whining for them to be removed from shops, don't you?

Weeeell...until Fifty Shades of Grey that is. It HAS been labelled porn by some groups and banned from some libraries in America.

Is it porn? Not in my opinion. But then again I have not read it...maybe I should do an update to this post after I read it?

You can't label erotica porn. Just because something has sex in it does not make it a porno. If erotica were re-classed as porn it would mean it would not be able to be sold in regular shops. It would be paper bagged and sold only in petrol stations and porno shops.

And that would shatter the careers of a lot of erotica writers.

I said to my husband it was insulting to call an erotica writer a pornographer.

Why, he asked? You're making sex and porn sound shameful and bad.

He has a point. As a society we're still veeerry conservative when it comes to sex. I went to a Lady Gaga concert the other week and saw a 10 year old dressed as a hooker and even I gasped and clutched at my pearls in shock. I always thought I was pretty cool and breezy about that sort of thing.

The problem with porn is there is too much variety in it. It ranges from sweet and sensual to illegal and disturbing and gross and wrong.

That is why you should not toss erotica into it. You're calling it dirty and wrong when it is harmless and tame and doesn't hurt anyone.