The Girl on The Train my thoughts

I know I'm massively late to the party but I FINALLY read this book and it was great! I couldn't put it down! I really liked how the point of view was split between three women Anna, Rachel and Megan. I had a bit of trouble getting into it at first because the plot wasn't linear to begin with and jumped around a lot and the three main characters kind of all read the same at first but after a couple of chapters in things began to get more clear and I started to understand who was who and what was going on.

I won't spoil the book for those who haven't read it. I really liked the characterization in the book. Rachel, the main character, was very fascinating to me. Rachel suffered from depression and was an alcoholic and I don't think I've ever read a more realistic portrayal of someone with those issues before. I spent most of the book switching between dislike and pity for Rachel. You really felt bad for her sometimes. When she couldn't get out of bed or cook herself a meal or stop drinking I just wanted to reach into the book and shake her by the shoulders and help her somehow.

It's a sign of a good writer when the characters you're presented with have multiple layers to them and are not always likable. It's realistic. Rachel was battered down and pathetic and broken. They're not just another cookie cut out of a typical book character. You keep wanting to turn the pages because you have so many questions. You become invested in their lives and want things both good and bad to happen to them. They become real.

Another thing I liked about this book was how the plot wasn't linear. It takes a lot of skill to structure a plot that is not a straight line. The typical beginning-middle-and end is the easy route to take and I don't judge writers for taking it. If you can master the more difficult road of the non-linear plot you're going to get a nod of respect from me. You put in the extra work and did something different. Good for you.

I also liked how this book highlighted domestic abuse against men. This is RARE. It certainly added some spice to the plot. It made you question things and just pulled me in further. Very well done.

The Girl on the Train had a strong Gone Girl vibe to it. I highly recommend it to anyone who likes a mystery and something a little bit different. A movie based on the book is coming out soon. I will definitely be going to see it.

A much needed update

I've been meaning to update this blog for a while but I've been too busy writing articles. I've decided to have a bit of a career change. I took a class on journalism last semester and have decided to chuck my hat into the ring and see if I can have some success writing articles. So far so good! I am now a writer for Perth Mum's Group, Weekend Notes and I've been published on Introvert, Dear and the Baby Vine. I'm very pleased! This has done WONDERS for my writing. My muse has been dead for years but now it is awake and doing business. And I feel great about it. Getting married and having a kid killed my muse. I didn't want to write anything longer than a blog post and it depressed me. I thought I was a writer but I didn't want to do it anymore. I eventually realized that what I didn't want to do was shut myself away from the world and devote endless hours to writing anymore. I had a family now. I wanted to enjoy spending time with them. I still write. I'm still a writer. I just didn't have the energy to write big projects anymore. That doesn't mean I'm never going to write fiction again. It just means for now at this point in my life I am going to try something different for a while and so far it's been a lot of fun. I've found that even when writing articles I still write like a fiction writer. I am descriptive, I paint a scene, I tell a story. I think it's too deeply ingrained in me at this point to not to do that.

And I am having a BLAST. Articles a short, sweet, and easy as FUCK to write and it allows me to be creative and still feel like I am can call myself a writer. I'm flexing my muscles, spreading my wings, and trying new things. And in the process I've flung open a door and discovered just how much work there is for writers out there if you know where to look. I'm going to try and build up a portfolio and get enough experience that I can get a proper, well paying job doing this someday. Writing at the moment is providing a fantastic distraction for me. It is a great hobby and is giving me a purpose and something to focus on. It makes me so happy. It doesn't matter that I haven't been paid anything (yet) because just having something to write about and wanting to sit down and write is enough to make me grin like a loon.

I'm still going to call this blog "fiction writer" because I am still that but I am also a blogger and a freelance journalist as well. I will write fiction again I just don't want to do it right now. Things might change years from now when my daughter is a bit older and can look after herself a lot more. I might want to sit down and do it then. But not right now. And that's OK. I'm having so much fun trying something different. Being a writer is such a huge part of my identity. It feels great to re-connect with it. I hope that one day I can do what I love full time.

I will be updating this blog soon with a new page that will have links to all of my articles and will update it each time I publish something new. These are exciting times!

Dyslexia and Me

I found out at 29 that I had dyslexia. It made a lot of sense. When I was a kid I used to write my d's and b's back to front and my Mum showed me a piece of paper of my writing once that kind of freaked me out - every single letter was written backwards! It was kind of awesome. It was like I'd invented my own language. I have no memory of ever writing like that though. Looking back on my childhood it kind of bugs me that no one ever noticed I had this stupid thing. I can remember telling my teacher's I could not read the black board and that I could see weird floating balls of light in my vision. No one listened. Surprise, surprise, I did not do well in school. I grew up thinking I was stupid. I stopped trying at all in school eventually - it didn't help that I also had dyscalculia and dysgraphia on top of my dyslexia and dyspraxia.

It wasn't until I was in Year Nine that I met a teacher who actually paid attention to me. I can't remember his name now (and this bothers me) but I can remember he was from Canada and here on exchange. He would turn up at school in shorts on days the rest of us were freezing and tell us in his hilarious accent "What are you talking about? this is not cold! this is beautiful weather!"

He was the first teacher who ever gave me an A. I was so used to seeing D's and C's and F's I thought it was a mistake when I saw that A. He was also the person who encouraged me to start writing. I would give him my stories to read and he would critique for me. He said to me once "When you become a published writer and your book comes out in Canada I will be in first in line to buy it." I wonder if he ever knew how much he helped me or gave me encouragement I desperately needed. Up until that point I thought I was good at nothing but he showed me I could be good at something if I worked at it. And that was that. I became a writer. It consumed me. I poured all of my energies into learning creative writing and slowly - bit by bit - my grades began to pick up a little as my love for writing trickled over into other grades. Amazing what a little attention from a teacher can do to a troubled student, eh?

I'm learning more and more about my disabilities and how they affect me when I get older. I tried to take a couple of grammar classes in university and apparently for a person like me it's like trying to learn Klingon. I tried really hard but my brain is just not wired to understand grammar that difficult. I know the basics - barely - but the fact is there is just too many grammar rules to remember. I think even a "normal" person would struggle to remember all the different terms. And let's be honest here...how important is it really that we need to know what a modal verb is? I think most people probably wouldn't know what it is. The more I tried to stuff more grammar knowledge into my brain the more I forgot what I'd already tried to memorize. Somehow though I passed both units. And learnt a valuable lesson...grammar is not my friend!

What's been annoying me about dyslexia lately is I've been realizing more and more how much it affects my writing and reading ability. I can read OK enough. The words do not move, I don't do the backwards writing thing anymore, but I do have problems with light. But the thing that annoys me the most is my spelling. I insert random words into a sentence that have nothing to do with what I wanted to write. I might plan to write "The cat wears a brown hat" and somehow - randomly - insert an extra word in there like "e-mail" maybe because I got distracted for a fraction of a second and thought about sending an email. But when I go back and re-read that sentence I might miss the extra word. I do other things like write "administrate" instead of "administration" and since the word is so similar to the one I wanted and written correctly I will miss it.

Sometimes this will mean I will make some hilarious mistakes. I sent an email at work once telling people I'd found a thumb drive and asking if it belonged to anyone. Instead of writing "sand disk" I wrote "sand dick" but did not realize it until after I'd sent the email. When I realized my error I collapsed into fits of giggles. I corrected the mistake and sent the email again. Whoops!

JK rowling can write whatever she wants

I've been following the criticism that has been building online for a while now as JK Rowling fleshes out her wizardly world to include America in it. There is a spin off Harry Potter movie coming out soon called Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find them and its obvious that the work JK is doing is supposed to tie into that film (which I am super excited about) but people have not been that happy with what she has revealed about the American wizardly world. There were complaints that the terms she'd invented like no-maj sounded nothing like a word that Americans would use and didn't have the charm of Muggle. People didn't like it. But so what? It's her world. Her story. Weird silly names are her thing. But that criticisms did not end there. When JK revealed even more about the American wizard world people freaked out over the inclusion of Native American myths and accused her of racism and cultural appropriation.

It was silly. It was a huge over reaction. JK rowling has done nothing wrong getting inspiration from Native American culture. Its what writers do. We get inspiration from history and mythology and fairy tales. Its one of the oldest traditions in writing. How many stories are based off Greek myths or Roman myths or Norse myths? J.R.R Tolkien based Lord of the Rings off Norse myth. This has been happening forever. And its ok. If no one owns an idea or a story then a writer does not have to ask permission to use it. It belongs to everyone.

At the same time I can understand why some people were upset with her though. JK Rowling's decision to include Native American's in Harry Potter has pulled them and their very real beliefs into her fictional world. Their beliefs are not a joke. And then there is the stereotype of the wise and mystical native to think about.

But if JK Rowling had not included them people would have asked "Why not?" so I feel like she was stuck between a rock and hard place. Could she had done a better job? Sure. Could she had pleased everyone? Oh hell no. Even if she had gotten an American to help her flesh out this new corner of her world she probably still would have done something or said something to offend someone. You can't please everyone. Someone will always find something to complain about.

What I find interesting is the air of entitlement coming from a lot of the people who have been complaining about her choices. I know Harry Potter has been around for a while and has been apart of a lot of people's lives for a long time but we do not own this story. She does. It's her world. If you don't like the decisions she is making then don't see the new film. But stop getting so worked up over a children's book. Do the new houses have bad names? Yeah. They're not as adorable as the British ones. But who cares? Seriously. Stop whinging. Its just a story. She doesn't owe you anything.

It would be nice if I could make a real living at writing

I gave up on making a career out of writing a long, long time ago and that was before I decided to switch from fiction writing to article writing. I used to joke that there was more of a chance of me finding money at the beach with a metal detector than there was me becoming a success with writing. It's just too difficult. It can happen, sure. You might make some money. But enough money to live off? Only a very select few are that lucky and sometimes I pity them. Look at George R.R Martin. The poor bastard can't go anywhere without someone asking him "Have you finished your next book?" I couldn't handle the pressure.

Since having a child I don't have the time or energy to write fiction anymore and I was feeling a bit down about it. I felt like I wasn't really a writer anymore. But then I decided to change direction and switch to writing articles. I felt encouraged again. I could do this. Writing an article is a lot like writing an essay. You do a lot of research and then you put your thoughts onto paper. What's good about writing an article compared to fiction writing is it is a lot easier than writing fiction and I can finish an article in a weekend. A decent short story or novel could take me months or even longer.

Once I finish university next year I am going to try and devote a lot of time to writing articles and see where it takes me. Will I make a career out of this? I don't know. Maybe. I think there's more of a chance of it happening than me becoming a best selling author. I am in the process of trying to build up experience and a bit of a port folio. One thing annoys me though and that's how many people expect me to work for them for free. There are benefits to working for free. You get exposure. You get experience. Those are both good things. But not being paid annoys me. It doesn't seem fair. Writing is hard, hard work. I find it frustrating that writers let themselves work for peanuts or even less. If we are working for you as writers for your magazine don't we deserve minimum wage at least? You would think so right? But apparently, nope.

I like places that will pay me $100 per article. It's a decent amount of pocket money. It's fair. It's rewarding me for my work. I've accepted I can probably never make a living doing this but the very least publications can do is chuck me a couple of peanuts per article. Give me some reward. Don't get me wrong. Being published is great. But you know what else is great? Paying the bills.

Paper Towns goes in a different direction

A couple of weeks ago I rented the movie Paper Towns and finally got round to watching it. I'd watched and read the book of the Fault in Our Stars so I was confident I was going to like the film and I did but it was its ending that surprised me. Paper Towns the film goes against the grain: the boy does not get the girl. The girl is not a prize. She turns him down and chooses her own path...and I thought that was awesome.

Normally, I don't mind the old cliche of boy gets the girl. It's relatively harmless. It's also timeless. "And they both lived happily ever after..." is probably one of the oldest plots to still exist. It's the stereotypical happy ending we all expect to happen in MOST stories. The good guy wins, kisses the girl, fade to black.

The problem with this cliche is that it makes the girl a prize, the ball, a piece of property to be won. And this sort of thinking makes men think that they each deserve a girl that they were even promised that there is a girl for each of them. And that can lead to ugliness in real life sometimes when a guy might think he deserves a girl...and she turns him down.

So I was delighted in Paper Towns when the main character is turned down by Margo at the end of the film who tells him "You don't know me. How could you love me?" and he lets her go but it's still a happy ending. He goes to the prom with his friends and Margo disappears into the sunset to follow her dreams and her own path. He respects her and loves her enough to listen to her wishes and let her go. He grows up and realizes that he was just idolizing her (and maybe being a bit stalkerish) and that the mature thing would be to back off and let her live her own life.

I've never seen a movie or read a book that ended like that and painted the whole thing as still positive. I thought it was incredibly refreshing and realistic and respectful toward women. I don't think books or films that have the old-school boy-gets-the-girl plot are necessarily BAD. I think there is a place for them and I like them in small doses. You can be critical of something while still being able to enjoy it. I just think that they have become a bit stale though and hope that more writers might go in the same direction as Paper Towns.

Different sides of a coin: how to define a powerful woman

I re-read all seven Harry Potter books this year for the first time in almost ten years. It had been so long that it was almost like reading them for the first time again. I'd forgotten bits and pieces so when certain characters died I would gasp and go "Oh, yeah, I forgot..." it was a fun ride and made me think fondly back to my childhood when I would be another kid standing in line for the latest Potter book. One of my favorite characters in the series has always been Mrs Weasley. I think it might be because she reminds me a bit of my Mum. She has a lot of children, she loves them fiercely, and her house is always a bit of a mess.

Mrs Weasley would always make me laugh as a kid. I loved the scenes she had with the twins when she would find out about their latest scheme and I loved how she cared for Harry as if he were one of her own. I loved how she gave Harry Christmas presents so he would not feel left out and always looked after him at her house. The Burrow felt a lot like my house: a little cramped, messy, and very, very loud. We weren't as poor as the Weasleys though and we didn't have gnomes in our backgarden.

One of the things I like about Molly is how her biggest strength comes from being a house wife and a mother. I know a lot of people might look down on Molly and think she's not a good role model that we should encourage our daughters to do more than just learn how to cook and clean and raise children and I agree. We should encourage our daughters to do whatever makes them happy. If my little girl says to me when she is older she wants to grow up to be a stay-at-home mother I would tell her "that's wonderful" and if she told me the opposite I would tell her the same thing. I want my daughter to grow up surrounded by lots of different female role models. I want her to know that she can be a CEO or a doctor or an astronaut or just a Mum and a wife if that's what she wants. It will be her choice.

My favourite scene out of all of the seven Harry Potter books is when Mrs Weasley kills Bellatrix after the death of her son Fred. I love how she hunts her down and fights with the same skill and fury as everyone else; her love for her children and her passion for her family is like a fire running through her veins, it is her strength. When she screamed "NOT MY DAUGHTER, YOU BITCH!" it was such a shocking moment I gasped and shed tears the first time I read it. It was so honest and true. And I loved that it was kept the same in the film. Mrs Weasley looks like everyone else's Mum; harmless, a little frazzled, and overweight. What I love about her is how in the seventh book she shatters the "little housewife" cliche: she shows that despite the humble position she has chosen in this life she has incredible power and is NOT a victim. She will defend her family and cut down anyone who dares to hurt her children.