Go the fuck to sleep

I stumbled across this article yesterday about a picture book for adults called GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP which is about a father's desperate attempts to get his three year old daughter to go to bed.

It's funny, sad, and genius. The author wrote it in a moment of desperation and exhaustion one night when he could not get his daughter to go to bed. He jokingly posted on facebook that his next book would be called go the fuck to sleep and got a heap of positive responses so he went ahead and published the thing as a children's e-book. A CHILDREN'S EBOOK.

It has not been published in print yet but it is already at the top of the amazon's best seller list and the movie rights have been optioned by Fox. I don't know what I find more shocking about this story: how one random idea can become bottled lightning and attract so much attention, how a book could achieve so much fame and hype before being published by a relative unknown writer, or that the thing was first released as a frigging e-picture book.

The e-picture book is a rare item. Some online publishers do them but for the most part it is still struggling to emerge because children want to hold books in their hands so they can rip them, draw on them, take them to school, sleep with them, etc. It is harder to make them sit on your lap in front of the computer and stare at a picture-ebook on the screen and keep their attention.

I think picture e-books will one day become popular, the technology just has to catch up a little, so kids will be able to read them on ipads and things in beautiful colour with sounds and video.

As for this book, what amazes me is the number of people who think it is really for kids and do not know that there are picture books printed for adults. We used to have some in my high school library. This book is satire. Yes, it looks like a picture book, and you know what? I WOULD read this to my kids. I have no problem with swearing, I think it is a healthy way to release anger, while it can be rude to swear at someone, I do not have a problem with swearing in satire or swearing when I get stung by a bee or fall on the ground.

So many people are freaking out at the idea of reading this book to kids. Number one, most real young children will not realise there is swearing in it, because kids do not realise what swear words are or that they are "bad" or "rude" until they at least around eight or ten. You know what kids will hear when they read this book? Poems. They will look at the pictures and not really focus on the words much at all. They will listen to the poetic structure of the story, yes, but the actual meanings of the words themselves will be lost on their tiny, innocent minds.

If I was tired, desperate, and on the verge of loosing my temper, I would read this book to my children because it would be a way for me to unleash some of my tension, maybe smile a little, and at the same time beg for them to please GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP.

Lightbulb moment!

I was walking into town last night after work when I suddenly realised why I hadn't been able to do any writing that day. It wasn't laziness. It wasn't being angry about my lack of weight loss. It was the scene itself. I'd tried to add something else into it and had delightfully fucked it up. It wasn't working. That is the core of my writer's block most of the time. It is never usually me. It is always the scene itself. It is not working. I've fixed the problem and the words have started coming at a trickle out of my fingertips again. Oh, we got a new set of scales, tested them both on tiles this morning, and would you believe it my Wii was 100 grams lighter? Don't ask me how. When Jaylani tested himself he was heavier on the tiles and lighter on carpet. I lost between 700-300 grams yesterday. All I did was walk 30 minutes into town and have an insanely early dinner at 3.30pm that my stomach angrily protested about later that night after I got home from class. I am hoping I will be able to get back on track with my writing today. Oh, one more thing, I had a look at Echoes last night. I pulled a section out that I wanted to try and replicate in Deep Embrace (this was the idea that screwed things up) and I saw that in one version of Echoes it was only 75 pages long. When I finish a manuscript, I make copies of it in different fonts, because each publisher has a different type of font that they like. Some are fond of arial, some like times new roman, etc. Well, anyway, I was looking at the TMR one and it was only 75 pages long!!! I was like "It's so short!" at the time, when I finished it, I was so proud. I thought it was so long, which it was, compared to the other short stories I had written. I thought it was a decent little novella, but it's not, not really. It's more of a novelette, which is halfway between a short story and a novella, but that's okay. It's still a ripper of a good little story.

Deep Embrace, mean while, is almost at 120 pages long and still chugging ahead. I have not even got to the big climax yet. Now this little puppy will be a proper novella. I've noticed that my projects are getting longer and longer. I am hoping that I will be able to write a proper novel within a year soon. I have a feeling that DE will be about 60k word in rough draft form and god willing above 40k in the final draft. That is ALMOST a novel!! Hell, in some circles, it is a novel.

Should books come with warnings?

I had a peek inside a free ebook the other day and it actually came with a warning that it contained violence and sex. I've never seen that in a book before. I thought it was a bit weird. I would never think of including something like that in one of my books. I've never heard of books being labelled like movies. I have read some news articles of people that think they should be though.

I just finished reading LET THE RIGHT ONE IN and one of the characters was a paedophile. The scenes with him were some of the most fascinating, well written, disturbing writing I have ever read. The author did not just get into this guy's head. He cracked open his skull and pranced around in there. He was able to explain how this guy's sexuality worked, as disturbing as that sounds, and even showed him receiving sex from child sex workers and jacking off in a swimming pool change room while watching some young boys get changed.

If there ever was a book that should come with a classification on it to warn people of it's content it's that one. I was real shocked with how graphic it was but at the same time I really enjoyed it. It made it a fantastic, thrilling, disturbing read. I actually really liked it that the author dared to write about such a taboo subject. I've read so many posts on message boards from authors worrying themselves to death about including swear words in their books. I always roll my eyes when I read things like that. I mean, seriously, you're worrying about turning readers away because your Mary Sue says the word fuck? News flash: most adults can handle a bit of swearing.

I never worry about disturbing my readers with scenes of violence or sex. I don't even really write with an audiance in mind. I just let my characters do what they want and then when I'm done I will try and figure out where my book fits in. I don't think I would like it if someone put a big label on my book to describe its audiance. I think it would distract from sales. For example, in Australia, if something is deemed acceptable for all audiances it is given a G rating. If it is more adult it can be an M for mature, an M15plus for people above 15years, all the way up to an R. I would hate it if my book got labelled an R or an M or M15plus. It would have a huge impact on where and how it could be sold and who could purchase it. This is probably the reason why books still do not have these probably.

So many writers these days worry about including graphic sex and violence in their books. They think it will turn readers away and will lessen their chances of getting published. They actually think they need to warn their readers with warnings like the one I saw in that ebook.

We really do live in a nanny state, don't we? People want to protect not just children, but grown adults, from sex, swearing, violence, and every other naughty thing under the sun. Here's an idea: how about we let adults be adults? LET THE RIGHT ONE IN has been hugely successful, despite its graphic content, which just proves that when an author is unafraid to shock their audiance, instead of shielding them from nasty stuff, they might just win the respect of their readers.

I don't feel like writing today...am I lazy?

I don't know why but I have not written a word today. I just...do not have the energy, the drive, and the passion for it today. Everytime I open the word document and stare at what I got up to yesterday I sigh, put my face into my hands, and turn to stare blankly out the window. Why? I don't know. Is this writer's block? Maybe. Is it laziness? Maybe. Is it creative exhaustion? Probably. Does this make me a bad writer? In the eyes of some, yes. I tried googling how I was feeling and stumbled across an article that said writers block was bullshit and an excuse made up by lazy writers who do not want to write and like to waste their time doing other stuff.

I hate that sort of attitude. Writers block DOES exist. It takes a hell of a lot of concentration, imagination, and focus to write something. It's not just a simple act of stringing together enough words to make a sentence. You have to write it in the right tense, make it fit into the scene, the previous paragraph, check the spelling and grammer, keep the description under control, etc...etc... It's fucking exhausting!

I think the problem with me today is that I have things on my mind. I have to walk into town after work and I have no idea how long that is going to take, buy my dinner, then catch a bus to university for a lecture and a tuturial, when all I really want to do after work is go home and watch the Ellen show and get an ice cream out of the fridge.

I love going to university, but sometimes, going to night classes is not only exhausting, but a real pain in the ass. I cannot wait until I can finally switch to part time work and start taking up more classes during the daytime. Ah, that is going to be sweet. God willing it will happen next year as planned.

I'm also fed up about my struggles with weight. I'm trying desperately to get under 100kg before my wedding in november. I've lost almost 10kg. I'm only about 5-6kg away from reaching my first goal. But for some stupid reason my Wii Fit has been telling me for the past couple of days that I have gained 300 grams, then 700 grams, despite walking 8k on the weekend, doing 1hr and 10mins of exercise on sunday, and walking home plus an additional 30mins of excercise yesterday. I don't know how the hell I gained that weight or if it really exists at all. Is it muscle? Is it water? Is it a stupid fault in the damn machine which has proven itself to not be that trust worthy in the past? SIGH. God only knows.

Jay got me a new set of scales which I'm going to try tomorrow on tiles. I'm hopeful it will say I'm much smaller then the stupid Wii said I was this morning, but at the same time I'm terrified I really did gain that 700 grams, even though I have no idea how or why, and I'm back around the mid 107s again. Usually, when I gain weight, I can pinpoint the reason why, like the other month when we had meatbealls and pasta for dinner, yeah that was a good food choice.

It is probably muscle, but according to the stupid Wii it is fat, which makes me angry and depressed. So I guess I have just pin pointed why I have not written a word today. Hopefully tomorrow I will lose some of my where-the-fuck-did-it-come-from-weight and my mind will be in a happier place for me to be able to write again.

The Mighty THOR!

I saw Thor on monday. I don't know what excited me more the amazing special effects, the story, the mythology, the acting, or Thor's beautiful, godly body, oh yeah. The movie got me thinking that I really should try writing a story about the norse gods. I have done research into them. I had a romance novel about Thor planned once but that probably won't be happening now. It was apart of a 7 novel series I started planning a couple of years ago but never got around to writing. I am still going to do that series but I'm going to trim it down alot. Sadly, that means cutting out my plans for my Thor novel.

My favourite mythologies in the world are Greek, Egypt, Irish, Chinese, Japanese and the Norse. I've done research into all of them and love them to death! They are all very different and full of rich, wonderful characters and magical worlds. Irish mythology is pretty cool. It's all about fairies and gods. I've dabbled in Irish mythology a little over the years. I wrote a short story based on Irish myth once called Fairy Dust.

I think out of all my favourite mythologies the Norse have the most imagination. When I was watching Thor all the research I did years ago came roaring back to me. Odin, Loki, the rainbow bridge, the 9 realms, Asgard, etc. I love how the frost giants were deplicted in the film and the rainbrow bridge was so beautiful. Watching movies like Thor is like feeding me crack. I come out of the cinema giggling and bouncing with excitement. My mind goes into over drive. I get really inspired. I was like that when I saw the Lord of the Rings films for the first time. I was writing medieval fantasy back then so those films were a huge inspiration for me. When I got them on DVD I would sometimes pause them so I could take the time to study the actor's costumes and sets to help me with my writing.

I thought Thor did a great job of bringing to life the majesty, the magic, and the strength of the Norse Gods. There's another God film coming out sometime soon. It's called the Immortals and is about Greek myth. I've seen the teaser trailer and the posters and it looks a bit like 300. I bet it will be awesome.

I've been thinking about what I'm going to do after I finish Deep Embrace. I'm almost 40 thousand words into it now. I'm past the half way point and very close to the end. I should be done before the end of the year but I doubt I will be able to have the whole thing edited and out and about before christmas. I do have that little wedding of mine in november to keep me busy! I also have to start editing Echoes in the Wind in September.

I'm going to do probably another two Greek myth stories after Deep Embrace. I have the outline for one planned already. It is called IN YOUR FOOTSTEPS. Once I am done with that I will probably do an original story about the Greek Goddess Andromeda. She has fascinated me for years. I have no idea what her story will be yet. After I've done that I will either move into Japanese, Norse, or Egyptian myth. We'll see where my muse takes me. It will be nice to move into a totally new area.

Different is sometimes good!

I'm reading LET THE RIGHT ONE IN at the moment. I'm about 20 pages in and I'm enjoying it. It's a real dark book. The characters are fantastically written. They are my favourite type of characters. Morally grey. They are disturbing. Weird. Fucked up. It makes for a great read. The main character, Oskar, wants to be a serial killer!! If that's not disturbing enough, the sub plot about bullying is pretty dark. One thing that has caught my interest about the book is the way the author writes his sentences.

He "tells" instead of "shows" and writes short, choppy sentences, without much structure. For example he will say: Oskar was walking home. That is calling "telling" not "showing" and is a big boo-boo. You are not supposed to SAY what is happening or what a character is thinking or doing. You need to SHOW it in words. For example: Sara whistled as she skipped down the path. It paints a different picture, doesn't it? You get the feeling you are THERE and watching Sara walk home. It makes it seem more real.

The author also writes sentences like "He walked across the path. Left at the brown door. Right at the fountain." etc..etc... I use short, choppy sentences seomtimes. It can work in the right circumstance. Something like: It was second nature. Instinct. She did not have to think about it.

But this guy...he uses these sort of sentences all the time! It doesn't bother me. But it got me thinking that this is another example of an author breaking the "rules" that I have been told by other authors never EVER to break. It just goes to show that you can write crappy sentences and sometimes slip into the wrong tense...but if your STORY and your CHARACTERS are good no one will care.

One drop at a time

"Writing is easy. Just open a vein." Writing is so hard sometimes. I'm almost at the 35k mark in Deep Embrace. I've had a bit of writer's block this past week. I've probaly done a little over one thousand words. In two weeks. I know some writers who can pump out over 10k in one sitting. Talented bastards. I am a very slow writer. I don't know why. Most of the time it does not bother me. One a good week I can do between 200-500 words a day, sometimes more. On a REALLY good day I can do almost 1000k in a single day. That's a rare event for me. If I can write between a paragraph to half a page day I am usually happy. I would love to be able to write tens of thousands of words in a single setting. I probably could if someone put a drip in my arm and I locked myself in a dark room for 24 hours.

I managed to churn out 200 words today and it was not fun. It was like ripping off my fingernails one by one and giving birth to a watermelon. I am happy that I was able to get SOMETHING down on the page. I made some baby steps towards the end of my chapter. That is the important thing. At the same time though...part of me cannot help but to feel irritated and fed up...I want to be able to write more. I do not want to force it though. I CANNOT force it. I've tried. Believe me. You cannot make your brain be creative. It has to be a natural act. The words have to flow from my fingertips like water. If the flow is not there, if it is nothing but a drip, I could try and torture myself to do more, but if it would be just that. Torture.

Sigh. Hopefully I will be able to do some more tomorrow and maybe finish my chapter. I did not write much today...but damn it I wrote something. That is better then nothing. So positive thoughts. I am 200 words closer to the words THE END.